What’s up y’all, it’s Abba Parks I’m in Tha Annex and Today I want to talk about Boundaries. 

Boundaries are necessary to allow ourselves space in every moment and space to be ourselves fully protected. So what happens when someone in your life is actively working towards dismantling the boundaries you have set for yourself. 

Wether they are aware of it or not disrespecting one’s person is not ok. So I’m gonna share a little bit of my principles on the matter to help y’all deal with disturbers of the peace. 

Let’s start with what boundaries are. Boundaries are your own rules of engagement. Your personal set of protocols that tell people this is who I am and this is how to interact with me. 

I have very strong boundaries and I do not let anyone fuck with them. So I make sure to give new people a lay of the land before I let them through the gates. 

I’ll explain where not to go, what not to say, and who not to piss off as your navigate the wonderland that I am but if bitches be ignoring what I’m saying and doing whatever they want expecting me to engage with them how they want me to, I am not afraid to tell them what’s what. 

So boundaries are also another way to remind you of who you are and not allow people to walk all over you. They help you identify when you are giving up your power and how to take it back.

So how do you set them? 

You can set boundaries however you want to. If that’s taking space for yourself when your needs are being disregarded cool, 

if it’s disengaging when you are feeling ambushed cool, 

if its limiting interactions when there is no respect for your energy cool,  if it’s openly communicating in the moment great. 

You can use whatever method or tool that allows you to safely set your boundaries and you don’t have to explain your process to anyone until you are ready to or not at all if you don’t want to. 

The key here is to take control of how you allow others to engage with you when boundaries are being disrespected. Consent is not a concept that should only be highlighted during sexual interactions, ALL social interactions require consent. So if someone is not asking for your consent to be in your space, energy or talk to you they are actively violating your boundaries; which in turn is violating your basic human rights.

We all have the right to privacy, so don’t be afraid to reaffirm  your boundaries but try to do so in a neutral manner or at least with someone else present, if you can, to avoid unnecessary conflict. 

It’s quite common for aggressors that react negatively to boundary setting to engage in dialogue that escalates the situation in order to get you to act out of character. 

Anything you do that matches their energy will only be used to justify their initial behaviour towards you and will not help you resolve the situation. So do not get triggered and if you find yourself getting angry or upset walk away, if you can’t walk away let them know that they are making you feel unsafe and tell them to leave you alone. 

You have every right to feel safe in any space that you are in. This is a great opportunity to calmly reaffirm your boundaries and show the aggressor that you are serious. 

It can be a little frustrating dealing with someone who is either unaware of their behaviour or fully aware because at this point you just don’t know what they are capable of and we all know how sideways shit can go real fast, so let’s not go find out. 

I advise you to reach out to some friends tell them what’s happening, talk to your family, find resources that can help you navigate the complexities of socially aggressive individuals. 

Talking it out with someone is the best way to get your head out of the situation and allow you to see that just because someone is reacting negatively to your boundaries it does not mean that you have done anything wrong. 

The more you practice affirming your own boundaries the more you will be able develop efficient ways to maintain your boundaries; which builds better character, better character builds better morale, and better morale builds a better outlook on life. 

So let’s get out there and be ourselves people. Let’s respect one another. Let’s love one another and if things don’t work out cool, let it go. Something better is coming your way. Closed hands can’t receive. 

So don’t be afraid to let go or don’t. Do you and I’ll catch you here next week. Same time. Same place. Until then take it easy and be kind to yourself. Much love.