What’s up y’all! It’s ya girl Abba Parks, I’m in tha annex and today I want to talk to y’all about... I don’t know actually, ummm I didn’t really think of anything so let’s just vibe out and see where things go today. 

Let’s recap a little. If you’ve been here with me from the beginning, three whole long ass weeks ago, you’ll recall the first three episodes I put out to be mind blowing and highly informative visionary type shit but if you’re new here and haven’t had a chance to tap into some of my sage words then go ahead and take a pause. Check out the first three episodes and allow them to ease you into my world. 

Once you do you’ll see, It’s like foreplay for my creativity I need to get y’all ready to go on this crazy ride with me so no one ends up getting hurt. Preparation is key to success and the lack of it will only result in painful experiences but will always yield important lessons. 

So don’t be shy, hit that play button one more time for your girl! 

So now that you’re familiar with the three major power points that I use to structure my life I think I can open up and tell y’all a little bit more about me. 

As you know my name is Abba. I’m a 31 year old creative director, writer, and producer living on Tha pacific west coast more specifically Vancouver aka the best place to live in Canada. I’m very charismatic, outgoing, funny, and bold af. I find comfort in things that would normally scare the average person but I wasn’t always this way. A long long long time ago this beautiful woman used to be a scared ass little girl. 

You see I grew up in a small city in the cold ass prairies, right smack dab in the middle of Canada. There were lots of African and Black families that lived in my city and the community was strong back in the 90s but for some reason my parents picked the one neighbourhood that didn’t have any of us for blocks. 

I was the only African kid in my classes from pre-K all the way to grade 12 and it was painfully obvious from the students to the administration just how unequipped they were to handle diversity. I was always the centre of attention, wether I wanted to be or not and it wasn’t always pleasant. 

In fact I can confidently say it was most definitely always unpleasant but I won’t because I don’t want no old friend from elementary calling me up crying and wondering if they were the racist one. Like there was only one! 

But that’s not the point. 

So let me take y’all back with me so we can look at how I got to where I am now. 

Growing up African and Black in a white neighbourhood was weird af, I never really understood why the white kids did what they did and why my family did the things they did and how I fit into all of that. So for the most part I just kept to myself, unless I was purposely looking for trouble. Which I periodically would feel inclined to fo from time to time but I’ll touch more on that in another episode. 

In the midst of me minding my own business and casually disturbing my siblings, I started to notice how all the white kids would copy me if I did something they deemed cool but would then leave me out of their experience with it once they started doing. Then If I did something embarrassing, I could never live it down and it was usually be brought up whenever I did something else that was highly regarded or achieved another big success. 

It was hard for me to be me with everyone watching all the time. I couldn’t even sneeze without someone making a stink about it. Legit, I still have mad anxieties around sneezing today but my biggest frustration came with the unwanted attention I would receive whenever I showed up with a new hairstyle; someone always made a point to make fun of it or mess around with it. 

So when I started copying my white friends with the hopes of fitting into their standards and escaping ostracism that’s when my family would come in to tear that shit down real quick with criticism; and like it hurt at the time but now I could see how that was the only way they knew how to protect me from getting lost in this society. The struggle was real y’all. I felt like I couldn’t have anything or do anything. 

I got so used to be being observed that I didn’t notice how my inner world was changing to reflect that. As I progressed through elementary school and transitioned to high school I gained a lot of weight and retreated so far into myself that I became bleak and depressing af.

Then one day, as I got ready to venture out into the world I had my first interaction with a woman I’ve come to know as: Rich Auntie Supreme. 

Shout out  Rachel Cargle for coining that term. 

But Yes. You know who I’m talking about. We all have know who that Rich Auntie is and how she be the Supreme ruler of all aunties. It’s not about how much money she has or how fancy she appears, although usually she be ballin’. 

No it’s something more beyond the materialistic. She is the most perfect being. She be knowin’ exactly what to say and how to say it at the right time, every time. The other mother our mothers give us. We all have one. Wether they are our real auntie, village auntie, or otherwise; Rich Auntie Supreme plays a big role in the upbringing of a little girl and she does not disappoint. 

I won’t reveal too much about my rich auntie supreme because my memories with her are like precious gold that I keep in a hand carved wooden love box adorned with jewels. Yeah Rich Auntie Supreme. She opened my eyes to the world, she fed my soul the love it had been yearning for and she beat my ass with some necessary truths to wake me up so I could get back to living my life and loving my Self. 

Rich Auntie Supreme was a God send for real. So I guess that’s when my boldness was brought back to life. 

Whenever I find myself in a tough situation or feeling beaten down I think of what Rich Auntie Supreme would say to me if she could see me in that moment.

Then more importantly I remember the fact that I have many nieces and nephews in my family and village and will one day look up to me, not because I aspire to be a role model but because of how I move through the world. Culture baby. 

So over the years I started shifting my perspective from being single/celibate Abba to Rich Auntie Supreme Abba. And wooooh let me tell ya when I say rich I mean rich. The energy that comes flowing into me is boundless and infinite and I legit feel like I can do anything but if I get too cocky she be taking her energy back and giving me some much needed lessons on humility. 

You see Rich Auntie Supreme is not any one person, it’s an expression of divine feminine energy. It’s an archetype that we can all use as a foundation to hold ourselves accountable, hype ourselves up, nurture of souls, and prepare us to continue this journey. 

So that’s how I got to where I am now. A kind little auntie casually whooping my ass with some words while I served her tea. I still wonder about her to this day and what she’s up to and to be honest if she’s still alive. 

In East African tradition it is common for households to have an open door policy, meaning if you’re in the hood drop by for a little bit. Emphasis on a little but stay too long one time and you’ll notice how quickly people start locking their doors but for the most part unexpected visits are very much welcomed. 

So the people that would come through our house either came for a reason or a season. Rich Auntie Supreme came with a reason and she only stayed for a season but she has always been with ever since that fateful meeting 20 some years ago. 

It’s funny how things change when we look back on our childhood. I was adamant about moving out as soon as I was legally able to because I felt smothered. I need space. I needed to breathe. 

I couldn’t comprehend how easy it was for us kids to get caught up in the narratives that we create amongst our social groups but having a village of aunties that see and hear everything was like having a secret service detail that always kept me in check. 

If I could go back and just be with them one more time I would pay more attention, I would take more note on what they were saying and how they were saying it. I could really use a lesson on some things right about now but I guess it’s time for me to pick up the slipper and embody the energy for my village.

It’s kind of intimidating to be honest levelling up to that status but it’s exciting at the same time. It’s like earning tenure at University, becoming an auntie is real work y’all. 

So tell me about you! Are you an Auntie? Are you an Uncle? Are you Rich? Are you Supreme? Let me know what you are doing in your life to honour your aunties, or not. Do you and I’ll catch here next week. Same time, same place. Until then take it easy and be kind to yourself. Much love.